Alltel’s Problem

This post is also serving as a test to wordpress 2.1. I upgraded a few days ago but haven’t had a chance to utilize it yet. Not really much different. IMO – wait for 3.0

The world of wireless providers is a dark and sinister place. Hidden fees. Overages. Dropped Calls. 2 year contracts. Automatically renewing contracts when making a plan change. Hideously stupid assholes who call themselves ‘tech support’ or “customer support”. It’s got to be a tough market to get into, much less be a successful provider.

Alltel almost has it pegged. Their customer service has always been very good. Plan options are extremely affordable. For example, i added a data internet plan for my phone and it’s only $5 a month. I don’t get charged out the ass for text or picture messages. I make changes to my plan and my contract is NOT automatically renewed for an additional two years. When i “Roam”, i don’t pay any money extra for that. I can call 10 of the people closest to me from any network without even being charged.

For the most part – one must admit… Alltel has their shit together.

Then we come to it… the single most frustrating piece of this entire wireless pizza. Alltel has about as many phones to pick from as any local “big lots”. I mean seriously. It’s almost driven me to switch carriers and deal with all the bullshit from paragraph 1. They do not have any ‘cool’ or ‘innovative’ devices available. No Blackjacks. No iPhones (not that i’d want one). Their collection is stale. It’s literally horrendous. How about the cool new UTStarcom 6700 ? Hmm… sprint had that like 3 years ago and stopped selling it last year. Way to be on the ball…!

Wait… seriously the Motorola Q is coming out in March!! Hmm… apparently Verizon hasn’t had that for almost a year. GG Alltel. Just now they finally got the Razr V3m with an expandable memory card, which can be purchased in flaming gay red or Bright silver. hmm. Meh. heh. etc.

Then they take their lack of a phone selection, and they further cripple it. Alltel’s phones are all “Brew” based. Apparently this means that it is impossible to download, use, run, or even think about seeing any sort of java application on them. Can’t use Google’s new gmail app… Can’t use google maps. Can’t download java games that are steadily gaining popularity. My phone’s browser can’t even save bookmarks. Think about that. My phone can watch a full feature film (The Boondock Saints is on there, as well as all three of Vanbergs’ Heroics videos), but it can’t even save a bookmark.

Alltel, What the hell are you thinking. If you could get your shit together with phone selection and functionality, you’d be the #1 Cellular provider in this country by far. Get some new phones with the JVM, and until that time… enjoy being #5.